What not to bring to Thanksgiving and the holidays

The New York times has a great roadmap to Thanksgiving to keep your sanity while cooking copious quantities of food for all your guests... I want to spin that...What about an emotional roadmap to Thanksgiving and the holidays?
So let's begin because it is Wednesday already! Do you need a roadmap that doesn't take you on destructive detours? We can get so lost emotionally...let's not go there. To avoid becoming emotionally lost in a dark wood , let's not bring these things to the holidays:

1. Unrealistic expectations... please expect challenging interactions, messes in the kitchen and in relationships, and exhaustion both physical and mental :)

2. Unmet emotional needs...family and friends cannot meet your needs. You are an adult (even if you are going back home to your parents!) Say what you need out loud in an inside voice :)

3. All the sad remembering...a friend recently asked me why so much of my writing is about grief, and I thought, "Well, it isn't rocket science, I have lost several family members and friends in my short 60 years :) But on this day, Thanksgiving I can choose to open my heart to who is present and let their presence heal bits of my broken heart.

4. Loneliness...do not bring this to a day of giving thanks. If you are so lonely you cannot get out of your own way, go find someone more lonely than you at a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter. Giving gives your heart something to focus on and heals the hurt of loneliness.

5. Resentments... for one day let us take a break from "Why didn't you...how come you never...you always...I am so angry because you...I don't have..." Peel back the resentment and you will find sadness and hurt. Drop it for one day.

Let the essence of Thanksgiving be a balm for your soul... Give thanks for your life, your humble home, your loving family or friends...Let the love of one or two or twenty fill your heart and quiet your mind. Be fully present to who is in the room, and let go of the chatter in your mind of, "this isn't what I expected..."
Let your heart be simple, and sing a new song for one day..."life is sweet, I have all I need, I can rest and trust in the goodness of life and God." That's the song I will be singing. What is yours?